"We often think of great faith as something that happens spontaneously so that we can be used for a miracle or healing. However, the greatest faith of all, and the most effective, is to live day by day trusting Him. It is trusting Him so much that we look at every problem as an opportunity to see His work in our life. It is not worrying, but rather trusting and abiding in the peace of God that will crush anything that Satan tries to do to us. If the Lord created the world out of chaos, He can easily deal with any problem that we have."
-Rick Joyner

Maybe I should have this tattooed to my hand so I can look at it every time I need it. (Meaning, every second of every day.)

Ever since I can remember I've been a follower not a leader.
I realize that isn't a good thing.. But somebody has to follow, right?
The problem is, I also have this whole "need to please" thing.
And it makes things very difficult for me with this whole planning thing.

If I love something, and am excited about it, but someone doesn't like it very much.. I automatically don't like it. And its definitely a subconscious thing. Its not like I decide not to like it. Its just that as soon as I get a negative opinion on something, there is automatically a negative feeling attached to it. I assume that because I liked it and someone else didn't, then I am wrong about it and everyone else will hate it. Does any of this make sense? I've been struggling for weeks now to put this into words because it really stresses me out.. Because how do you plan a wedding (which includes picking things out and getting opinions on it) when every time someone disagrees with me I decide not to get what I originally wanted? Ugh.

So is it bad to want to do things alone? All of this kind of makes me want to look at flowers and try on dresses alone. But that's sad, don't you think? To plan your wedding alone? Geez louise. Is everyone else as confused and frustrated as I am just after reading this post?

On a different note- I'd just like to add: No matter what or where I am, no matter how long I have been staring at it, no matter how ready for it I am, when toast pops out of the toaster, I jump. NO MATTER WHAT! I'm such a scaredy cat.

The End :)

this just in: I am officially a wedding crazed, planning bride :)

I have booked the church and I have made a guest list.
I got on excel last night and made a pretty fancy schmancy guest list and have a total of 180 people.. Sheesh. Way more than I ever imagined. I still don't think I'm done adding people. I just have to keep reminding myself that alot of them wont come... I guess.

Also, may I please add that this whole "not having a reception" thing really needs to catch on.. Because it is amazing. You have no idea how NOT stressful it is to not have to worry about seating charts, and a dj/band, and centerpieces. I guess I still need to worry about decorations and food for the party that is a few weeks afterwards. But I'm definitely procrastinating on that one.

I'm getting married. YAY :)

people will tell you that this kind of love will fade
that bein' in love like this is only a phase
but baby after all this time ain't nothin' changed
all you gotta do is look at me that way

and there ya go makin' me fall in love again
there ya go makin me fall in love again
oh and I gotta tell ya, there's nothin' better
you and me together workin' on forever
every day with you is always somethin' new
you've only gotta be yourself
and there ya go, makin me fall in love again

I just booked the church.
How exciting is that?
I just booked the church!
I'm a real bride!

If you can't tell, I feel very excited and accomplished. It makes me want to run out right now and also buy my dress, pick out BM dresses and tuxes, oh and I also just want to get married. NOW! I just have to keep reminding myself that the wedding is over a year away and if I don't pace myself I wont enjoy it.. Eh.

I would also like to add that today I was craving really fattening, greasy, disgusting breakfast. So I decided to go to Bojangles. So I got in my car, got there, ordered, pulled to the window and then I realized.... I didn't bring my purse, or any money. Oy vey. So I had to say "Umm.. I forgot my money at home. Can you just hold that for me? I'll be RIGHT back!" So I rushed home, got my money, and came back. Most embarrassing thing that has happened to me all week :)

Okay I'm going to go celebrate the fact that I have done my first real wedding planning related item.. YAY!

Have a great day :)

its rainy and disgusting outside and it has been for 3 days. i don't have to work until this afternoon and i have absolutely nothing to do with my time. except for blogging, eating chips ahoy cookies (the chunky kind), and watching gilmore girls. actually, that's a pretty appropriate way to waste a rainy day, don't you think?

i just heard the fire whistle go off which means that someone somewhere is hurting and freaking out because they've gotten in an accident, or their house is on fire.. that's what i think about every single time i hear it, and it makes me really sad for them :(

ward is super stressed about his chicken houses. he gets chickens (45,000 in each house, actually) next week, and apparently he has alot to do until then. so i've kind of learned that staying out of his way, not asking alot of questions (that stresses him out even more when he has to explain whats going on), and not bugging him to death with phone calls and texts is the way to go. instead, i'll be blogging, eating chips ahoy cookies, and watching gilmore girls for many, many days.. because i don't want to bother him. i'm a great fiance, huh? :)

the headache i woke up with is starting to creep back the longer i stare at this stupid screen.. so i suppose i'll go now. i hope everyone has a wonderful day and stays safe in the rain! :)

Okay so I haven't blogged in a long, long time, but I've really had the urge lately. I just want to blog about my life.. What's going on with me, my family, my friends etc. No silly lists about crushes or pet peeves.. Just my life :) So this should be fun.

Last night Ward and I got engagement pictures taken by the wonderful Kristin Partin.. and because she's amazing she uploaded FIVE of them already and I'm SO excited. I love them so much. (They're at the end of the post.) This was kind of the boost I need to do some wedding planning.. I'll be bringing our picture to the newspaper so we can do our announcement, yay!

Its PROM SEASON which means I have been beyond busy (and annoyed..) at work with lots and lots of really fun/bratty/annoying/picky/mean/indecisive teenage girls and boys picking out prom dresses and tuxes. Oh joy.

Oh! And I went to see my sister this weekend for mother's day. And I got to spend lots of time with the most beautiful and adorable niece in the world.. But maybe I'm biased ;) I miss them and wish they lived closer. Sis, if you're reading this- move closer. Thanks.

Okay I believe that is all.. I hope everyone has a wonderful day :) Here are the pictures...