Ever since I can remember I've been a follower not a leader.
I realize that isn't a good thing.. But somebody has to follow, right?
The problem is, I also have this whole "need to please" thing.
And it makes things very difficult for me with this whole planning thing.

If I love something, and am excited about it, but someone doesn't like it very much.. I automatically don't like it. And its definitely a subconscious thing. Its not like I decide not to like it. Its just that as soon as I get a negative opinion on something, there is automatically a negative feeling attached to it. I assume that because I liked it and someone else didn't, then I am wrong about it and everyone else will hate it. Does any of this make sense? I've been struggling for weeks now to put this into words because it really stresses me out.. Because how do you plan a wedding (which includes picking things out and getting opinions on it) when every time someone disagrees with me I decide not to get what I originally wanted? Ugh.

So is it bad to want to do things alone? All of this kind of makes me want to look at flowers and try on dresses alone. But that's sad, don't you think? To plan your wedding alone? Geez louise. Is everyone else as confused and frustrated as I am just after reading this post?

On a different note- I'd just like to add: No matter what or where I am, no matter how long I have been staring at it, no matter how ready for it I am, when toast pops out of the toaster, I jump. NO MATTER WHAT! I'm such a scaredy cat.

The End :)